Sunday, September 13, 2009

Disney, for serious.

An Open Letter to the Heads of Disney:

Dear Disney,
You and me have had some good times. You've made me laugh, you've made me cry, and you've touched me, right here, in my blood pumpy chambers. Quite a bit of my childhood memories are tied to you Disney, to evenings cuddled with me mam, watching the Disney movie of the week, going to the tiny video rental between the hair stylists and Roses to get Sleeping Beauty for the umpteenth time, or watching DTV's Monster Hits every Halloween. I remember when your animation didn't suck, and you weren't whoring out skinny blonde tweens (I maintain Haley Mills wasn't nearly as irritating as the kids they have now, and Annette was a brunette, not to mention that they had more talent in their little pinkies than most of the youngsters today).

But Disney, it's been a long time since you've been great. In fact, as of late, you've pretty much sucked balls, and the only reason you haven't had to declare bankruptcy is that you've been piggy-backing on Pixar's talent. In an age where nostalgia sells for millions every day, why have you shooed Mickey, Goofy, Donald, Chip and Dale into the dark cobwebby closet of the "Disney Vault"? Disney, you have become that crusty old dragon, muttering to itself, hoarding its gold. It's always collecting more, but never using those sparkling gems and shiny ingots for any kind of purpose other than a very uncomfortable bed.

Disney. For serious. Stop it.

I miss who you were, and abhor who you've become. While I'll never forget the good times, I don't think we can see each other anymore. Good luck with your future endeavors; I wish you the best.



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