Movies movies movies movies movies....

Hmmm. If anyone is still reading, you're probably used to this by now. But! I have some stuff knockin' around the ol' brain (what little is left of it), so maybe there will be more than one post this month?

Before I regale you with my tirade on animation in movies, I'd like to lead off with my squidgy excitement over the latest Miyazaki film, as well as a host of other movies we should start getting impatient over the release date.

Hayao Miyazaki is the premier anime animator in Japan, and holds the distinction of winning the first Academy Award for an anime and for having two of the three highest grossing films in Japan (the third being Titanic). His movies have strong female leads, usually children, with complex themes about the environment and moral ambiguity. What's best is that his films appeal to all age groups; children will love the fantasy aspect, the creatures, and the funny jokes. Adults will be able to appreciate the beautiful hand-drawn animation and the challenging storylines. If you are unfamiliar with Miyazaki's work, I suggest you get your butt down to the local video rental or put these at the top of you Netflix queue:
- Princess Mononoke
- Spirited Away
- Kiki's Delivery Service
- My Neighbor Totoro
- Howl's Moving Castle



Miyazaki's latest release is Ponyo on the Cliff by the Sea, which looks delightful. My only hesitation about this movie is its connection with the Disney studios. Does anyone else think that the logo looks suspiciously like the Finding Nemo title?

Release date: August 14



In other news, those of you who are fans of Roald Dahl will breathe a sigh of relief that The Fantastic Mr. Fox isn't computer animated, but instead uses stop animation which has its own kind of bizarre fluidity that compliments the story very well.



Oh, and did I mention that it's directed by Wes Anderson? High five to that guy for doing us all a favor and making this movie first, because there are few directors that are suited to making Roald Dahl books come alive. If you're at all familiar with Anderson's movies (The Royal Tenenbaums, Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, The Darjeeling Limited, etc.), then you know that visual style and dark humor are his forte (something Dahl dabbles in more than once in a while). So let's all breathe a sigh of relief, and get ready to enjoy a great animated film.

Release date: November 13



Though it still doesn't have a release date, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus has a trailer, and I have to say, when I heard that director Terry Gilliam brought in Johnny Depp, Jude Law, and Colin Farrel to play the lead after Heath Ledger died (Still too painful. He ODs on prescription pills, and Paris Hilton still roams the earth? There is no justice.), I thought, "Well, that's going to be a bit weird, innit?" But after watching the trailer, I think it's going to fit into the storyline pretty well. And besides, since when have Terry Gilliam's films ever been normal?



While we have all been worrying about who was going to get to direct The Hobbit, Peter Jackson has made a quiet return behind the camera, and as a master of visuals, I don't think it's going to disappoint. Based on Alice Sebold's best-selling novel (that I never read, sorry), The Lovely Bones looks pretty amazing. Really, the only thing I can pick on based on the trailer is that I have a hard time believing that Rachel Weisz and Mark Wahlberg are old enough to have two teenage daughters. But, I am excited to see Susan Sarandon back on the silver screen. I can see this role having the same kind of depth and impact that Leslie Ann Warren had in Secretary, one of my favorite Warren performances since the eldest daughter in Faerie Tale Theater's "Seven Dancing Princesses".

Release date: December 11



Well, there ya go. It's my day off, and I've got a laundry list of things to do, topped off with Karaoke night, so shove off and I'll get back to ya when I'm done killing my liver.

It's a Two-fer!

After watching my Poirot DVDs twelve times over, I've turned to my massive Agatha Christie collection to satisfy my craving for mystery, the 1930s, and French-speaking Belgians. Oh, you don't know what I'm talking about? WELL LET ME ENLIGHTEN YOU.



I'm a bit of fan-girl when it comes to Agatha Christie's greatest fictional character, Hercule Poirot, one of the most adorable detectives EVAR. Poirot is a former Belgian police detective who moves to England and becomes a private detective, unraveling the most obtuse and Gordian-knot-like mysteries. And honestly, if you ever need to bump someone off, her books are a pretty excellent how-to.

I own over half of Christie's nearly 50 Poirot novels, several of which have been turned into one of the most excellent of detective shows starring the inimitable David Suchet as Poirot. Still turning out the occasional tv special, the series has been going since 1989. As a kid, one of my most favorite things was staying with my grandmother on Long Island and watching PBS's "Mystery!" theater while laying under the covers in the dark on the blowup mattress in the living room. A good portion of my attachment to the show is the result of such well-formed memories, but in all honesty, the show really is that good. Suchet is THE perfect, quintessential, and only Poirot. The prim and exacting minuscule detective with the elegant mustache is embodied in Suchet's performance; if you watch carefully, you will discover an entire catalogue of mannerisms that create a real, living embodiment of a fictional character. Not to mention that Suchet's accent and use of French is parfait, and you will find yourself repeating the words for later use.



My love of Poirot in this context is such that if I were to ever meet David Suchet, I would have to insist that he wear the mustache and speak with the accent. I couldn't talk to him otherwise, everything he said would just sound like white noise. Not to mention that I can't stand anyone else playing Poirot. I rented the film "Murder on the Orient Express" once, and after ten minutes I'd had enough, it was so painful watching another actor massacre my image of the little detective.

What is interesting, and something that I have discovered in reading the novels, is that the writers of the show have actually improved on Christie's design: in the novels, Poirot is a little bit of a dick because his well-earned ego is so huge. He consistently reminds his pal Capt. Hastings what an idiot he is, and how inferior he is to Poirot's superior intellect. In the show, Poirot is well-aware that he is the best there is and that his friend isn't as smart as he, but he is a bit more humble about it and doesn't make Hastings feel like an ass unless the situation calls for it. The relationship feels warmer and based on mutual respect and affection rather than an audience for Poirot's impressive use of his "little grey cells." The books also paint Poirot more akin to a cat, with flashing green eyes and a dainty, nimble quickness. While the twinkle remains in Suchet's eyes, he's portrayed as a portlier fellow, someone who clearly enjoys the finer foods and drink and the comforts offered by British high society. I'm okay with this, because he's still dainty and fussy and the fanciest of dressers. How fancy? He has a special napkin that buttons to his shirt front for meals. He has a silver case for his cigarette ashes. He wears SPATS. He is so goddamned fancy.

Another reason I love the show is the immersion and dedication to the setting and costumes. ART DECO MOTHERFUCKERS.



I squeed pretty hard during an episode when I recognized a giant oil painting in the background as being done in the style of one of my favorite painters, contemporary to the period, Tamara De Lempicka.





So, if you're curious, as far as the books go, some of my favorites are:
Murder on the Orient Express
After the Funeral
Murder in Retrospect
Elephants Can Remember
One, Two, Buckle My Shoe

The great thing, and also the worst thing, about her books is that once I start reading, I find it very difficult to stop, because I want to get to the end with Poirot's fantastic denouement and find out the who/what/where/when/why of the plot. This means that I actually manage to get through more than one book in a week, but it also means that I don't get much else done.

So if you love the 30's and 40's, art deco, Britishisms, detective stories, psychology, and tiny Belgian detectives, you can pick up any of Christie's novels up at the library or bookstore and find the DVD collections of the television show at Amazon.com. It's well worth it. Look at those mustaches!

Til next time dear reader; I hope it won't be another 10 days.

Filmatic Explosion Monday

Oh my crap kids, some exciting things have been percolating in the cinematic world while I wasn't looking! And here I thought that all I had to look forward to was the next Harry Potter movie!

I went onto Trailer Addict to see what was new and ended up spending an hour watching trailers. I literally had to tear myself away and go for a walk around the house to be able to sit down and write this review. Golly!

First up, Disney, for the first time in, what, 10 years? is making an actual animated movie, with only limited use of computers! And look at them act like it ain't even a thing that they took what looked like an indefinite hiatus from an artform they helped pioneer, not to mention that their core audience has no idea about The Little Mermaid, Aladdin, and has only heard rumors about The Lion King late at night while they were tucked into bed and the grownups were talking down the hallway.

To be honest, I'm not completely in love with this, BUT, I am intrigued by the bayou setting, the voodoo doctor villain, and the sweet little animated touches that make me sigh wistfully for Disney days long lost to economics (note the gator playing various instruments; how much did you love The Rescuers? Possibly not as much as me.) And really, aren't we just slightly excited that SOMEONE at Disney noticed that there wasn't a whole lot of animating going on and decided to do something about it?

The Princess and the Frog Dec. 25, 2009



However, it pretty much looks like drunk mimes with broken legs in comparison to the holy grail of computer animation's newest project.

Up May 29, 2009




Now, if you're like me, you often find yourself wondering over a hot skillet full of scrambled eggs and sausage, "I wonder what Michael Keaton is up to?" Then you pour your orange juice and chuckle over several of the scenes in Beetlejuice and sigh wistfully over how Batman should have totally hooked up with Catwoman on a more permanent basis, all the while blocking out anything to do with Jack Frost or White Noise.

Good news everybody! Mr. Keaton is back on the playing field in the upcoming college version of Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, Post Grad, and this gorgeous little gem. Honestly, I could sit and listen to Kelly Macdonald's accent for DAYS, and it's been a while since the newsboy hat looked so...appropriate.

The Merry Gentleman May 1, 2009
Starring Michael Keaton, Kelly Macdonald, Tom Bastounes
Directed by Michael Keaton(!)




A little bit ago, I was somehow directed to a gay film site, and ran across this little gem. We probably won't see this ever, at least not until we have a drunken Ladies Night double-feature pairing this with Twilight, but I'm intrigued with this well-shot and well-costumed film that is "a nice-looking but self-conscious trifle that captures only glimpses of its subject's genius" (Brian Juergens, www.afterelton.com). Though for the life of me, I couldn't get the phrase "I doubt your commitment to the sparkle motion" out of my head.

Little Ashes May 8, 2009
Starring Javier Beltran, Robert Pattinson, Matthew McNulty
Directed by Paul Morrison




On the international front, these two films look directly up my beloved film teacher's alley.

Revanche tells the tragic tale of an ex-con working as an assistant in a brothel in Vienna who decides that robbing a bank is the best way to escape poverty with his Ukranian hooker girlfriend, crossing paths with a cop and his rural housewife. It was nominated for an Oscar this year, but I pretty much ignored the Oscars because they regularly piss me off.
Daily language lesson: revanche is French for "revenge." The more you know!

Revanche May 1, 2009
Starring Johannes Krisch, Irina Potapenko, Andreas Lust
Written and directed by Götz Spielmann



Out of the UK is Helen:
An 18 year old girl called Joy has gone missing. Another girl called Helen is a few weeks away from leaving her care home. Helen is asked to play Joy in a police reconstruction that will retrace her last known movements. Joy had everything. A loving family, a boyfriend, a bright future. Helen, parentless, has lived in institutions all her life and has never been close to anyone. Gradually Helen begins to immerse herself into the role, visiting the people and places that Joy knew; quietly and carefully insinuating her way into the lost girl's life. But is Helen trying to find out what happened to Joy that day, or is she searching for her own identity? (traileraddict.com)

I'm interested to see this, however, the review on imdb.com said that it doesn't live up to its promise. But you know, people have different standards.

Helen May 1, 2009
Starring Annie Townsend
Written and directed by Joe Lawlor and Christine Molloy




Some interesting documentaries I came across:

The Garden chronicles the fight between inner-city LA residents fighting a corrupt city official to keep their community garden open. This looks really good, and I already want to know how the conflict resolves.

The Garden May 1, 2009



The Transcendent Man introduces the life and philosophy of Ray Kurzweil, a genius multi-millionaire who predicts that man will one day merge with machines to complete the next evolutionary step. He walks the line between brilliant and crazy, and I suppose one could really see it either way. And yes, William Shatner, we want you to live forever, too.

The Transcendent Man May 1, 2009



Speaking of crazy futuristic conceptions, this movie looks SO GOOD. I'm not going to spoil it for you, just watch the trailer.

District 9 August 14, 2009
Written and Directed by Neill Blomkamp




All right, now, if you're still with me, listen hard. Even if you haven't watched any of the other trailers I put on here, WATCH THIS ONE. I broke out into the girliest squeals, THE GIRLIEST OF SQUEEKING AND SQUALLING, watching this trailer. I just about fainted from all the things that I love that are in this movie.
1.) DANIEL DAY-LEWIS. Oh my god. I love him so hard.
2.) The director of Chicago. Don't know if I mentioned HOW MUCH I LOVE CHICAGO, but BOY HOWDY, DO I.
3.) Dancing, singing, SPECTACLE (not the kind you put on your nose to see clearly)
4.) Dame Judy Dench. She's so awesome, and so British, and she is Ian McKellen's favorite fag-hag.
5.) SOPHIA GOL' DANGED LOREN

Goddamn, this looks so good, I might have peed a little.
A vibrant and provocative musical that follows the life of world famous film director Guido Contini (Daniel Day-Lewis) as he reaches a creative and personal crisis of epic proportion, while balancing the numerous women in his life including his wife (Marion Cotillard), his mistress (Penelope Cruz), his film star muse (Nicole Kidman), his confidant and costume designer (Judi Dench), an American fashion journalist (Kate Hudson), the whore from his youth (Fergie) and his mother (Sophia Loren). The film is directed by Rob Marshall (CHICAGO). The original 1982 Broadway production of Nine, with music and lyrics by Maury Yeston, won five Tony Awards including Best Musical. (traileraddict.com)

I...I really enjoy musicals.

Nine November 25, 2009
Starring Daniel Day-Lewis, Judy Dench, Penelope Cruz, Marion Cotillard, Nicole Kidman, Kate Hudson
Directed by Rob Marshall



Oh...oh man...I-I'm gonna need a minute.

'Til next time.

Movie Monday

Movie Monday Madness!
"Where I get a lady boner for people I will never meet."

For every twenty movies that come out, perhaps one or two of them is worth the wallet-raping at the local theater. Here are my picks for upcoming films to keep an eye out for.

1. Year One, June 19
Starring Jack Black and Michael Cera
Written and directed by Harold Ramis

Oddly enough, before I had seen the trailer I thought to myself, "Man, it'd be hilarious if Jack Black and Michael Cera spoke in present-day vernacular while in the ancient past," and boy howdy, turns out the movie writers are psychic! Now, I know Cera uses the same style of dialogue for every character he plays, but I just watched Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist, and I still find it hilarious and endearing. I'm pretty excited about this movie, hoping it will hail the return of Harold Ramis, comedic genius, replacing Harold Ramis, chubby failure.




2. Where the Wild Things Are, October 16
Starring Max Records, Catherine Keener, Mark Ruffalo
Directed by Spike Jones

WOW. Just....WOW. Spike Jones is back in rare form, bringing to life one of the most beloved childrens' books of all time. This film looks spectacular, and looks to delve deeper into the characters, creating a wonderful companion to the book. I'm not one of those nazis that thinks that books should stay books; if it's done well, the movies compliment the books and you can hold them both in your hands and say, "Hey, these are some awesome things I enjoy." And I think this one's going to be a keeper.
Sidenote: How neat is this kid named Max playing Max?



3. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, July 15
Starring Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Michael Gambon, Alan Rickman
Directed by David Yates

Those of you keeping up know that I went on a little hiatus writing this blog because I was sucked into the sixth and seventh Harry Potter books. Honestly, if I start reading, I can't stop. And the reason I started was thanks to one of these trailers.

The film looks amazing, and as the kids get older, their acting gets better and better. I'm really excited to see if Rickman is given a little more screen time to flesh out his character Severus Snape, as well as Michael Gambon as Albus Dumbledore. In hindsight, I think that Gambon has become a better Dumbledore than Richard Harris could have; Harris was a pitch-perfect Dumbledore when he was the ever-calm, slightly eccentric patriarchal figurehead of the school. However, Dumbledore's life becomes a bit more troubled, especially since Goblet of Fire, so I really think that Gambon's ability to play the stressed out, troubled Dumbledore has come in handy, not to mention his ability to handle the more physical demands of the role. Could you see Harris dueling Voldemort in the Ministry of Magic?

Did I mention how pissed I am that they pushed this movie from Christmas to the MIDDLE OF THE GODDAMNED SUMMER? That I have already been waiting for this film for eight months, and must continue to wait another three? CURSE YOU FILM EXECUTIVES.



4.Inglourious Basterds, August 21
Starring Brad Pitt, Samuel Jackson, Mike Myers, et. al
Written and directed by Quentin Tarantino

I, uh, don't really know what to make of this. Your thoughts?




So, good times, eh? Stay tuned for This 'N That Tuesday!

Big ups to our fangy friends lurking in your local bellfry

My apologies, dear reader, for not updating with the promised vampire goodies as soon as I would have liked. I was distracted by Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, quickly followed by Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I’m sure you understand.

Well, dear reader, this has been a very enlightening post-project. I finally found some sites that list more than just Underworld and Interview with a Vampire as “the greatest vampire films E-VAR!” I rediscovered some old favorites and a few films that could be just as good as Let the Right One In. So let’s get to it, shall we?

First off, I’d like to trot out some of my favorite 80’s and 90’s comedy-camp-vamp films.

My Best Friend is a Vampire
Oh my, this takes me back.

Is it time to bring back the giant shoulder-pads and crispy hair that is supposed to look wet?

Starring Robert Sean Leonard of Dead Poets Society and grizzled-beardy television hit House, Rene Auberjonois (probably best recognized as Odo from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, but who has a very extensive voice-over credit list, including many Disney favorites), and David Warner (the perpetual bad guy, including THE LOBE!), this 1988 gem would actually be a great pairing with Buffy the Vampire Slayer; they follow a similar storyline formula where you have unsuspecting, “normal” teen who has a critical event and gains a new status: Vampire/Vampire Hunter, as well as gaining an arch-nemesis: Vampire Hunter/Vampire, and a dusty mentor. I haven’t seen this movie in far too long, but as a kid I would rent it over and over again from the local video store, so essentially I’ve had a crush on Robert Sean Leonard long before any of you schmucks.

Once Bitten

This 1985 breakout for Jim Carrey is one of the decade’s many notches in the sex-comedy genre. The plot hinges on the ancient vampire Lauren Hutton seeking out a virgin’s blood to drink to keep her young, but in this modern age, teenagers are sluts and virgins are scarce. Enter goofy loser Jim Carrey, who is woefully unbesmirched thanks to his prude of a girlfriend. It pretty much explains itself, and you get to see glimpses of Jim Carrey’s comedy evolution. Spoiler: He gets laid.

Love Bites

::shrug::He likes it with the brace on.

Holy cow, this movie is pretty bad, but still so good! Released in 1993, we’ve hit the age of Wall Street yuppie-ism, coasting on a booming market, cell phones, and LOTS OF HAIR GEL. Crashing directly into it is 1800s British vampire Zachary Sims, played by Adam Ant (the musician, not a children’s book character). The plot: quintessential 90’s lady accidentally falls into his crypt from her apartment built over said crypt, makes friends, and helps him adapt to the twentieth century, eventually helping him become human again (bet you didn’t know vampires could do that, huh?). Guess what? She falls in love with him along the way!

You guys, this movie is so cheesy, you’re going to need plenty of tortilla chips and salsa handy, but Adam Ant makes it more or less pretty awesome. He’s adorable, people, and he has an ACCENT, we women are putty in his dainty British fingers. His electro-synth-pop is pretty kick-ass as well, check it out!

Dracula: Dead and Loving It



This 1995 spoof has a fantastic cast: Mel Brooks, Leslie Nielsen, Peter MacNicol, Steven Webber, Amy Yasbeck, I tell you it’s SO GOOD. Occasionally, there will be a joke that falls a little flat, but oh my crap, it’s Mel Brooks, it’s pretty damn funny.

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter
Delightfully low-budget, the tag-line for this film is The first testament says "an eye for an eye." - The second testament says "love thy neighbour." - The third testament ... Kicks Ass!!! The second coming of Jesus is fraught with renegade vampires and motorcyclin’ lesbian ninjas, blaspheming and small explosions. You’ll laugh so hard, the consecrated wine that is the blood of Christ will shoot out of your nose.

Tip: You will probably have to hit up NetFlix or a local independent video rental store to find this corker.


So! I suppose it’s on to some serious business!

Night Watch and it’s sequel Day Watch



This breakout hit from Russia single-handedly revived the Russian film industry. Set in present-day Moscow, we follow Anton, a member of the Night Watch and the side of Light, who must keep an eye on those of the Dark side to keep the uneasy truce struck between the two hundreds of years ago. However, the head of the Dark side is looking for a way to tip the scales of power via the child Yegor, a Great One, a being of great potential power who could help swallow the world into darkness should he choose to join the Dark side.

These films are best watched in Russian with English subtitles, which are actually rather creatively used at certain points in the movie, dissolving like blood or revealed in the wake of a character’s path. And though the film isn’t strictly “vampire” or completely wrapped up in vampire lore, there are vampire members on the Dark side who play a part in the downfall of mankind. BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT THEY’RE HERE FOR. JUST LOOK AT THE TWILIGHT FRANCHISE.

Dracula’s Daughter and Nadja



Dracula’s Daughter, released in 1936, was a sequel to 1931’s Dracula. With some lesbian overtones (who doesn’t love those?), the film follows Dracula’s daughter Countess Marya after her father’s death as she attempts to shed her vampirism and become human again. Included in the plot is Van Helsing, who has been arrested for murdering the Count. Though it didn’t do too well at the box office, it received positive reviews, and is at least worth seeing as source material for Nadja.

Nadja (1994) may only appeal to people like my pal Kyle, who revels in the strange, the bizarre, and the David Lynch. A post-modern reworking of Dracula’s Daughter, Lynch acted as producer and has a cameo as a morgue receptionist, so if you’re the kind of person that enjoyed trying to untie the Gordian knot that was Muholland Drive and watched every episode of Twin Peakes, then you just may want to check this out.

Immortality, also known as The Wisdom of Crocodiles

This movie probably sucks. However, it stars Jude Law as a vampire. Ladies, and a few of you gentlemen, decide for yourselves.

Cronos



I adore chubby writer/director Guillermo Del Toro, and was unaware that he and Ron Perlman go way back, before Ron was our favorite brick-red and horned superhero, all the way to 1995 where they worked on this intriguing commentary on old age grasping at any promise of youth. Instead of a vampire bite, the “disease” is introduced via a mechanical golden scarab housing an insect that produces a solution that makes the infected person young again. However, the price to be paid is a hunger for blood.

The main character is horrified, but unwilling to part with the magical scarab. Ron Perlman portrays a thug sent to steal the youth-giving device, which looks like a marked improvement than that episode of Beauty and the Beast I saw recently. (Linda Hamilton, I hate you.)



Dracula: Pages from a Virgin’s Diary


WARNING: ART FILM! WARNING: SILENT! WARNING: BLACK AND WHITE! WARNING: BALLET!

Okay, now that we’ve got that out of the way, I’m intrigued by this 2002 take on the original Bram Stoker novel as portrayed by the Royal Winnipeg Ballet. Complete with title cards and other tricks of the silent film trade, this film seems like a delightful combination of old and new, including a Chinese Dracula and selective use of color. Who doesn’t want to see a Chinese Dracula dancing on his toes, wooing a chick straight out of Swan Lake?

Near Dark


As a card-carrying feminist, I have to applaud writer/director Kathryn Bigelow. It’s hard enough getting backing for a movie written and directed by a woman, not to mention a film that’s a western vampire horror fest. Starring the underused Bill Paxton, Lance Henriksen, and the then-unknown Adrian Pasdar (devilishly handsome Nathan Petrelli on Heroes), this movie stretches the conventions of the classic western and horror genres. There’s a traveling band of criminal vampires wreaking havoc on the small towns remotely scattered throughout the west who bring forced vampire-in-training Caleb into their fold; though Caleb is now a vampire, he clings to his humanity, and can’t bring himself to kill to eat. The fanged gang commits more and more depraved acts to force Caleb to become like themselves (an initiation ritual to cement Caleb to them and ensure his trustworthiness), which actually serves to push Caleb further away. The critical tipping point for Caleb occurs when his “new family” runs into his actual family, and Caleb must choose sides.

Granted, I haven’t seen this movie, but Bill Paxton is so crazy, I absolutely must. Of all the places in America for these vampires to roam, they choose…the desert. That small fact lets you know right off that these guys are BATSHIT. Not to mention Lance Henriksen is one of the most sinister Civil War vets I’ve seen in a while.

Nosferatu, eine Symphonie des Grauens , Nosferatu the Vampyre, Shadow of the Vampire



We’ve all heard of Nosferatu, but I was unaware of how extensive its influence is on the vampire genre. Directed by F.W. Murnau in 1922, this expressionist film was an adaptation of Bram Stoker’s Dracula, but had to make several changes to the story because they couldn’t secure the rights to the novel. Shot on a shoestring budget, the film created one of the two vampire archetypes: the vile and repulsive rat-like count versus the more common Dracula-type: the sexually charged aristocrat with a heightened power of seduction. In Murnau’s film, Count Orlock is a slithering, sneaking corpse with elongated fingers and fangs, huge eyes, and no hair.

When he travels to Hutter’s home to capture Ellen, he brings with him a ship full of rats chock full o’ the plague. Everything about him is so vile and lowly, one could almost feel pity for him for having to live such a wretched existence. In this respect, Count Orlock has more in common with Frankenstein than Dracula.

The other historic detail of vampire lore created by this film is the Count’s fear of sunlight. Prior to Nosferatu, vampires disliked sunlight, but could tolerate it; Stoker’s Dracula even takes a stroll through town during the day (though I’m sure the constant English fog and canopy of coal smoke helped screen out the direct rays). But in Nosferatu, Ellen offers herself to Orlock to distract him while the sun comes up, causing him to disintegrate. For a creature that is such an antithesis to light and goodness, it’s a natural fit, and I find it surprising that no one thought of it sooner.

A point of interest, this definitive vampire movie was almost lost forever; despite changing names and plot, Stoker’s descendents still sued for copyright infringement and won. Part of the settlement was that all copies of the film be destroyed, but by that point, the film was so far-flung, it had been copied by enthusiasts and continued to live on. Suck on that, Stoker!

Now then, Nosferatu was a gold star in what could be called a troubled history for Germany, so, naturally, German director Werner Herzog (Vehr-nahr Hair-zog) made a tribute version, combining Nosferatu and Stoker’s original Dracula. Collaborating with the intensely insane, but intensely intense Klaus Kinski (Klowse Kin-skie) in one of five epic projects, Herzog expands the plot and delves deeper into the Count’s pitiable pathos of loneliness in the face of immortality. If you’ve never seen a Herzog/Kinski film, do yourself the favor; as a side-note, this movie was shot both in German and in English, but most critics lean towards the German version as the actors are more confidant delivering their lines in their native language.

If you know anything about Herzog (the man who ate a shoe in front of an auditorium full of film students on a bet), then this shouldn’t surprise you: in the city where they were shooting, Herzog was forbidden to release the 11,000 rats that were collected for a particular scene. So they relocated to another town, released the rats and shot the scene, but the population of rats exploded to 30,000. Children of the town skipped school for weeks to collect rats in exchange for the bounty placed on their tiny heads.
Fun Fact: Herzog is terrified of chickens, but has them in his movies, probably for some obscure, artistic reason. See if there are any in this one.

And the final block in this trifecta is Shadow of the Vampire, starring John Malkovich as F.W. Murnau and Willem Dafoe as Max Schreck. The plot: Murnau, with his crew under the impression that Schreck is just a very dedicated method actor, has hired a real vampire to star in his movie with his female lead as payment, provided Schreck cooperates and finishes the film. However, as the filming goes on, Schreck becomes increasingly erratic and hard to control, munching on crew members between takes.

Personal story-time: this movie was billed as a “black comedy” when it was released, and when I went to see it with my mom (my faithful movie-going companion), I was expecting lots of laughs. I WAS SO WRONG TO EXPECT THAT. While there are a few chuckle-worthy moments, this is foremost a horror-psychological drama-type thing, and you will be sorely disappointed if you think it’s going to be giggle-times. Also, Willem is fucking terrifying. He is even more so in this movie. (Just joshing, Willem, I love your craggy face)


So, gotdamned, kids! That was a lot of movies! We actually just barely scratched the surface here, but you know, it’s my blog, I’ll do what I want. I’m sorry for the delay, but this seriously took me a week to research and write. So be grateful.

For further vampire interest, check out these sites:
Snarkerati’s Top 70 Vampire Movies of All Time
Collection of Vampire Filmography: for all those delicious Christopher Lee Dracula flicks!

Oh man, next time, This ‘N That Tuesday!