...this probably would have been the soundtrack to my very sad teenaged existence.
Like other great Icelandic artists before him, Ólafur Arnalds is more talented than you or I could ever be, and certainly more than your mom (unless your mom happens to be Bjork).
The following are songs from his April EP Found Songs: seven songs, one created each day for a week. You know what's awesome? You can download them for free; if you decide you like them, you can purchase the EP in various formats (it is, after all, the technical age.)
If you enjoy bands like Sigur Rós, I'm sure you'll find an appreciation for this young fellow (born in '87, GAH I'M SO OLD), though you may want to be sure there are no straight razors nearby while listening to this hauntingly, achingly beautiful album.
(Many thanks to my pal Flash Gordon for pointing this out)
Incidentally, this also caught my eye; who doesn't love wispy fellows on a cold beach dancing around in pea coats? BLACK pea coats? No one, that's who.
So I have really fallen down in my duties of informing you of things that are awesome. I'm sorry.
Though many of my readers are close friends and are already aware of the bizarre genius that is Brad Neely, there may be one or two who are sadly groping through the dark, looking for a light switch, but finding only damp, sticky things of varying sizes and shapes.
Well children, let me get that for you.
Brad Neely is a cartoonist/comics artist wrapped in absurdity and mystery. Not much is known about him, and I certainly have no idea how long he's been around, but by God, my life would be much sadder without him. His distinct simplistic, disproportionate, kind of wiggly line style of drawing perfectly compliments his weird sense of humor. His fingers are in all kinds of pies, but here are some of the best ones:
"Wizard People, Dear Reader" Many years ago, Neely, who had never read the books, nor seen the movies, did a drunken audio narrative of the first Harry Potter film. The first time I watched the film with the narrative track, I nearly peed myself many, many times. I actually had to take a break so that I could relieve myself, just in case that next wave of tear-inducing laughter was the one to break the dam. There are so many quotable lines from this work that for next few weeks you will just be muttering to yourself, "Ta-daa. Ta-daa forever!" or "HP and the Effin' Bear!"
And do you know what's best? The MP3s are free to download (comes in 2 parts)! The joy and laughter are free! How often does that happen? I mean really?
A sample: the first appearance of "Roast Beefy Weefy"
the heart-stopping "Cribbage Match"
Do everyone a favor and when you've downloaded the tracks, show it to everyone you know. Have a "Wizard People, Dear Reader" party. Just make sure you don't serve soda, as it will, more than once, come shooting out your nose.
ps. This is not for children under the age of 16.
George Washington video This was the first video of Brad Neely's I was shown, long long ago in the before times, and still remains one of my very favorites. A wonderful fact-filled rap about our founding father, Mr. George Francis Washington.
The Professor Brothers A series about two professors who share the same office and despite their opposing personalities, learn life lessons and laugh and cry together.
I truly appreciate how Neely's strained, incredulous voice is exactly what I hear in my head every time life doles out another pile of bullhockey, because, despite having lived twenty-five years in this world, I naively still can't believe the things that happen on a daily basis. And videos like this make me smile at the absurdity of it all.
Seriously, the talent never stops with this guy. Even his one-panel comics are sincerely delightful (if you enjoy absurd humor like I do).
My favorite is bear balloons: I love how the image is actually pretty damn precious, but knowing Neely, the imaginary next panel is probably disembowelment and gore. But really, who wouldn't want some big fluffy bears lazily floating overhead? And the two human characters actually look genuinely happy and sweet. Just another lovely afternoon stroll through the sun-dappled fields with your sweetheart and some bear balloons.
So, there's some stuff. I hope you enjoy it as much as I have and share it with everyone you know. We'll see what comes down the pike later this month?
"He'll save children, but not the British children..."
Dear Disney, You and me have had some good times. You've made me laugh, you've made me cry, and you've touched me, right here, in my blood pumpy chambers. Quite a bit of my childhood memories are tied to you Disney, to evenings cuddled with me mam, watching the Disney movie of the week, going to the tiny video rental between the hair stylists and Roses to get Sleeping Beauty for the umpteenth time, or watching DTV's Monster Hits every Halloween. I remember when your animation didn't suck, and you weren't whoring out skinny blonde tweens (I maintain Haley Mills wasn't nearly as irritating as the kids they have now, and Annette was a brunette, not to mention that they had more talent in their little pinkies than most of the youngsters today).
But Disney, it's been a long time since you've been great. In fact, as of late, you've pretty much sucked balls, and the only reason you haven't had to declare bankruptcy is that you've been piggy-backing on Pixar's talent. In an age where nostalgia sells for millions every day, why have you shooed Mickey, Goofy, Donald, Chip and Dale into the dark cobwebby closet of the "Disney Vault"? Disney, you have become that crusty old dragon, muttering to itself, hoarding its gold. It's always collecting more, but never using those sparkling gems and shiny ingots for any kind of purpose other than a very uncomfortable bed.
Disney. For serious. Stop it.
I miss who you were, and abhor who you've become. While I'll never forget the good times, I don't think we can see each other anymore. Good luck with your future endeavors; I wish you the best.
So I recently turned 25 years old, which officially kicks off my quarter-life crisis. I'm pretty excited about this, y'all.
I have been discussing with my lady friends, and we agree that as we get older, it's not just a cute face that turns our heads, but mmmmm, he has a job that pulls in more than twenty thousand a year? Oooh, he has health insurance, his own car, and isn't paying off a mountain of debt? Uuuuuggghhhnnn, did you say HOMEOWNER, OH MAN, I'M DONE.
I had always thought that we had evolved beyond those base instincts that drive us to find the most virile and suitable mate, but, and don't tell anyone, I think I may have been wrong, just a bit.
I suppose it's the result of living paycheck to paycheck for the last five years, but personally, I'm ready to get a "real" job, one that has a regular weekly schedule, weekends off, benefits, health insurance, and nets me more than the $17,000 a year I make now (which, really, after taxes? Maybe $15,500. That's a depressing thought, innit?). A lot of folk I know who graduated college have tried the real world and gone running back into the warm bosom of school life because it was just too effin' hard trying to make it in this economy. The rest are still grinding out a sad existence working jobs they hate that have nothing to do with what they went to school for. But, before I get off on a tangent about how craptastic the school system is, and how for the thirty thousand bucks you shell out for an education, they fall very short of actually preparing you for the transition to adulthood and marketing yourself to employers, let me get back to the original topic.
You know what else has invited themselves to the crisis party? My biological clock. Oh, hey ovaries, you mean you serve a purpose other than torturing me five days out of the month? You also quietly, but insistently, whisper fantasies and elaborate storylines involving BABIES, ME AND BABIES, ME HAVING BABIES, ME RAISING BABIES, CHRIST HAVE YOU SEEN THOSE BIRTHING VIDEOS, ARE YOU TRYING TO REND ME ASUNDER?
You want to know how bad it is? I've started a list. A list of baby names. For boys and girls. And you know what? I'm not the only one. Your girlfriend? Is she of a certain age? Does she often get a faraway look in her eyes when there are cute babies about? During conversation does she interject with the phrase, "(Blank) would be a great name for a boy/girl, don't you think?" Then guess what. She's got a list. She's got a list, and it won't be long before she's evaluating your ability to PROVIDE and contemplating your FUTURE together, your FUTURE with BABIES.
Do you see all those capital letters? This is serious business. Have you seen Look Who's Talking? Brilliant film. Is still my reference for sperms and eggs gettin' together and baby-makin'. Do you remember that scene where Kirstie Alley has day-mares about her biological clock, the thunderous ticking, and clinging to the clock face hand miles above traffic like she was Harold Lloyd?
Yup. That's about right. I imagine it's going to get worse the closer I get to thirty, not to mention complicating the emotions I have about getting married, pregnant, being a mom, etc. Just typing this now, I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed.
You know what embodies nearly all of this post?
The one thing that comforts me during these times is that I know I'd be a great mom, thanks to my own wonderful mother and having EDUCATION and knowing about OPTIONS. I also have to admit that the years I've been living vicariously through Heather Armstrong's blog as she lives in Salt Lake City raising her daughters and dealing with postpartum depression and anxiety disorders has been a fantastic tutorial. It's a feeling that if she can deal with the amped up insanity of raising a very particular four year old and a newborn along with her own health problems, then I will be totally okay because I've been privy to WOMEN SECRETS that aren't really discussed until you are of a certain age. Now that I'm of that certain age, I find that I've learned a lot, but that there is still a ways to go.
WARNING: This post will be photo-heavy, probably with a fair amount of cursing, and the soapbox will be at least six feet high.
As a disclaimer, I am by no means an expert. I am merely a self-righteous appreciator of the art of animation who knows better than the people in charge of animation today. And guess what? I'm gonna tell you ALL ABOUT IT.
Mrs. Brisby looks out in caution, due to the impending diatribe.
There's something you need to know about me. I love nostalgia. I am all about it, all up in it, and sink slowly into a big pillow of it when I go to sleep. I'm that chick that has Rainbow Brite on her Amazon wishlist and is serious about it. I'm nostalgic about stuff I wasn't around for. That's how intense I'm talking. So recently, on a trip to the local thrift store I found An American Tail on VHS for a quarter and LET ME TELL YOU I about died and went to heaven. As a kid, I would make my mom check out that VHS and All Dogs Go to Heaven just about all the goddamned time. We owned The Secret of NIMH, which I probably watched enough to destroy the tape (as it is conspicuously absent in the boxes of tapes at home). After watching An American Tail, I was so enthralled by the memories and the new adult perception of the film, that I had to watch Don Bluth's other films. OH MY GOD PEOPLE.
One: if you don't get these movies for your kids, you're a terrible parent, and I'm reporting you to Social Services. Two: Christ, today's animators should just go ahead and jump off a bridge, crunch a cyanide capsule between their teeth, or lay down on some train tracks, because nearly all of today's animation can't even hold a candle to what Bluth and his colleagues achieved on comparatively shoestring budgets. Three: If you have no idea what the hell I'm talking about, seriously, do yourself a favor and rent, borrow, steal these movies.
The Secret of NIMH An American Tail The Land Before Time All Dogs Go to Heaven Rock-A-Doodle Thumbelina Anastasia Titan A.E.
It should be noted that Bluth was the directing animator for Disney's The Rescuers, Lady and the Tramp, 101 Dalmatians (1961 film), and The Fox and the Hound, his influence stamped all over like no one's business.
It was after he left Disney that he created his own studio team, Don Bluth Productions, dedicated to returning to the old animation techniques, as well as using new, more labor intensive techniques to create the amazing artwork in the film. The Secret of NIMH was his first film on his own, and is generally considered his opus. The producing studio, Aurora Studio, bought the rights to the book, Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH and offered Bluth's team a budget of $5.7 million and 30 months to complete the film, a smaller budget and tighter schedule than Disney films at the time. Despite the time crunch and lack of funds, Bluth and his producers mortgaged their houses and put in over 100 hours a week during the final stretch of filming to make their vision come to life. If only we could see that kind of dedication to quality nowadays, I think we'd be a bit better off.
This might be a good time for me to lay something out for you all. Despite it's trailblazing history in animation, and the numerous classic films it produced, and it's towering presence in millions of childhoods, Disney has gone straight down the crapper. Some time in the mid-nineties, they started piggy-backing on the talent and innovation of Pixar, and stopped requiring that there be any actual effort put into their films. Around this time they started putting out those god-awful filmatic abortions, the straight-to-DVD sequels to their classic films. Hardly any were safe, not Cinderella, not Peter Pan, not Lady, nor the Tramp. They also threw Mickey into the murky and squalid basement, only dragging him out to dance a grotesque mockery of his former glory, holding out the little fez for your change as Disney studios cranked the hand organ. Basically, whoever was responsible (and continues to be) for the creative and business decisions of the last fifteen years has been raping Walt's antisemitic corpse and smiling for the cameras while they did it.
What gets me, is that the general public eats this garbage up. They buy their kids the half-assedly animated sequels, the Hannah Montana t-shirts and lip gloss, and blow thousands of dollars at the Magic Kingdom where you spend most of your time waiting in a line. What's worse, Disney gobbles up the rights to our childhood, and then squirrels it away from the public eye until they decide to drag it out in a fancy package (that is actually pretty damn ugly and cheaply done) and "all new features" (hint: there aren't any new features, just some crappy interactive "game") and charge you thirty bucks for it. THEY BOUGHT JIM HENSON'S MUPPETS. DISNEY OWNS THE GODDAMNED MUPPETS. If I ever meet Brian Henson, I'm going to have to kick him as hard as I can, right in the shins.
Whew. I'm sorry, I get really upset when I talk about this stuff. Honestly, if I had one wish, it would probably be to be in charge of Disney and all children's programming, because seriously folks, they're fucking it up SO HARD.
Um, so, if you've made it this far, I did have a point to all this. I re-watched An American Tail for the first time in years, and I didn't make it past the opening credits before I started bawling like a three year old. The composers Bluth used for his films have a knack for finding those specific notes that twang my heartstrings and send the tears shooting forcefully from my ducts. What I couldn't figure out was how this never happened when I was little. These movies are terrifying, tragic, and beautiful, how is it I wasn't constantly walking around with the sniffles and puffy eyes? Being an adult, I recognize and appreciate the depth of the tragedy in these movies, and even the happy endings have a touch of sadness or morbidity. It's something totally lost on a kid, but as an adult, you better be ready.
For example, as a kid, I enjoyed this little ditty, and really only remembered the chorus. But listen a little closer:
Johnny Guarnieri - There Are No Cats In America
PAPA MOUSEKEWITZ: Our family was traveling Through the snow to Minsk Suddenly Papa Saw those huge paw prints When I heard him screaming I fainted dead away And I woke up an orphan Oy vey But...
ALL: But there are no cats in America And the streets are paved with cheese Oh there are no cats in America So set your mind at ease
ITALIAN MOUSE: Ma la cosa terrible Que esiste in la patria mia If you think things were bad in Russia You should see things in my country:
The times were hard in Sicily We had no provolone The Don he was a tabby With a taste for my brother Tony When Mama went to plead for him The Don said he would see her We found her rosary on the ground Poor Mama mia But...
ALL: But there are no cats in America And the streets are paved with cheese Oh there are no cats in America So set your mind at ease
IRISH MOUSE: Sure that’s sad, but sadder still...
When I was but a lad I lost my true love fair A calico, he caught us by surprise In a flash of teeth and fur Her tail was all he left of her 'Neath the heather Is where it tirra-lirra lies But...
ALL: But there are no cats in America (There are no cats in America) And the streets are paved with cheese Oh there are no cats in America (And the streets are paved with cheese) There are no cats in America There are no cats in America There are no cats in America That is why, we sail, these seas
In this movie, the cats were just munching on whole mouse families, did you see those Cossack Cats in the beginning, and wholly crap Madeleine Kahn's character walks into a wake and exclaims, "There's a dead mouse on the table!" Just...wow. You have to respect Bluth's refusal to ignore death and danger, just because it's a kids' movie.
Mr. Ages is not feeling Mrs. Brisby up, they are having a tender moment, dammit, Nicodemus is dead, what kind of person are you?!?
See that red stuff right there? That's blood kids. You better get used to the sight of it, 'cause you're body is just chock full of the stuff. It's cool, though, that guy totally had it coming, see the wavey-edged sword?
In fact, nearly all his films feature the not-so-nice and pretty plain death of one or more characters. It's a surprising realization to know that kids' movies have been softened and watered down so much that they're more ridiculous catch phrases and fart jokes than actual story.
If parents were concerned over the dogs in UP, how do you think they would have dealt with the Cossack Cats, Carface, Sharptooth, and Dragon?
If I had been a bird, I would have peed my pants, if I were the kind of bird that wore pants.
At some point American society became so terrified of damaging their precious little one's mind and psyche that everything became safe and mindless and sparkly. Quality went down the tubes, replaced by lights and computer generated special effects, and I'm wondering what the end result is going to be. If the teenagers that flounce into my place of work are any indication, I'm thinking of moving to Nova Scotia.
So most of this post has been very Debbie Downer, or rather, RAGING RACHEL, but really, I want to share my appreciation for what Don Bluth accomplished. I'd really like to find an address and mail him to let him know how much his work meant and means to me and my childhood.
*Quick plot synopsis: Recent widow Mrs. Brisby has to go to the secretive and mysterious rats of NIMH to help move her house before the farmer's plow destroys it and her son who can't be moved because of pneumonia. However, she stumbles right into a battle for power between the rats' patriarch Nicodemus and his loyal followers and clearly a bad dude, Jenner and his lackey.
The Secret of NIMH really is a masterpiece, one that stands up to today's fancy computer technology and shows that hand-drawn animation can be just as, if not more, effective an outlet for storytelling. The amount of work spent on this film is vibrantly apparent in every lovingly crafted cel, and the attention to detail is incredible. They studied animal movement and behavior, and one animator kept crutches by his table to mimic the movement of Mr. Ages. What I find the most impressive is that each voice chosen for the characters completely MATCHES AND EMBODIES that character, so much that you see the character, not the person voicing the character. Elizabeth Hartman's voice quivers and quakes and squeaks as the timid Mrs. Brisby who is forced by circumstances to be much braver than her nature would normally allow.
Glowing eyes and a Fu-Manchu mustache equals WISDOM.
John Carradine's voice booms and echoes as the looming, yet wise Owl, terrifying but also, somehow, reassuring. They are all pitch-perfect casting, mostly of people I've never heard of, but who create the characters so completely, you couldn't imagine anyone else doing it.
I also found the subtle animal rights vs. science to be an interesting conundrum.
Stupid meat sacks and their needles.
As an adult, we know that without animal testing, most of our vaccines and medicines wouldn't be as effective as they are. But from the point of view of the animals, one wonders just how necessary a lot of testing is. Though on the other hand, without the experimentation of the humans, the rats would not be as smart or able to build such a magnificent society. But yet again, the rats seems to hold their intelligence as somewhat of a burden, a secret that can't be revealed to anyone, lest everyone be endangered. It's a big windy road of twine that is making my head hurt in a good way.
And my god. The art is just...astounding.
The booklet sez: This scene required about 96 layers of cels. Dems a lotta layers!
Multiple color palettes were used for characters to fit in different lighting situations, from daylight, to night, to warm environments to underwater. Mrs. Brisby had 46 different lighting situations, so there were 46 different color palettes for her.
Bluth's animation team used multiple passes on the camera to achieve transparent shadows, and backlit animation, where animated mattes are shot with light shining through color gels to create glowing, artificial light and fire.
Remember what I said about glowy eyes and the 'stache? PROOF.
Messiah Mouse!
I seriously choke up during this part, I don't know if it's the fact that her children are suffocating, or the intensity of her desire to save them, or all those solar flares shooting off her body, but it's intense and I'm crying my eyes out.
Fun Fact: Mrs. Brisby was originally Mrs. Frisby, as in the title of the book. The creators of the toy "Frisbee" refused to waive the use of the similar sounding name, so the film team had to go back and change each instance of "Frisby" to "Brisby" by fudging the sound or pulling a "B" sound from somewhere else in the character's dialogue. Though it's a silly situation, I like Brisby better.
So, I hope you don't hate me too much for this. I just really like my classic animation. And Dom DeLuise.
"Courage of the heart is very rare. The Stone has a power when it's there."
Hmmm. If anyone is still reading, you're probably used to this by now. But! I have some stuff knockin' around the ol' brain (what little is left of it), so maybe there will be more than one post this month?
Before I regale you with my tirade on animation in movies, I'd like to lead off with my squidgy excitement over the latest Miyazaki film, as well as a host of other movies we should start getting impatient over the release date.
Hayao Miyazaki is the premier anime animator in Japan, and holds the distinction of winning the first Academy Award for an anime and for having two of the three highest grossing films in Japan (the third being Titanic). His movies have strong female leads, usually children, with complex themes about the environment and moral ambiguity. What's best is that his films appeal to all age groups; children will love the fantasy aspect, the creatures, and the funny jokes. Adults will be able to appreciate the beautiful hand-drawn animation and the challenging storylines. If you are unfamiliar with Miyazaki's work, I suggest you get your butt down to the local video rental or put these at the top of you Netflix queue: - Princess Mononoke - Spirited Away - Kiki's Delivery Service - My Neighbor Totoro - Howl's Moving Castle
Miyazaki's latest release is Ponyo on the Cliff by the Sea, which looks delightful. My only hesitation about this movie is its connection with the Disney studios. Does anyone else think that the logo looks suspiciously like the Finding Nemo title?
Release date: August 14
In other news, those of you who are fans of Roald Dahl will breathe a sigh of relief that The Fantastic Mr. Fox isn't computer animated, but instead uses stop animation which has its own kind of bizarre fluidity that compliments the story very well.
Oh, and did I mention that it's directed by Wes Anderson? High five to that guy for doing us all a favor and making this movie first, because there are few directors that are suited to making Roald Dahl books come alive. If you're at all familiar with Anderson's movies (The Royal Tenenbaums, Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, The Darjeeling Limited, etc.), then you know that visual style and dark humor are his forte (something Dahl dabbles in more than once in a while). So let's all breathe a sigh of relief, and get ready to enjoy a great animated film.
Release date: November 13
Though it still doesn't have a release date, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus has a trailer, and I have to say, when I heard that director Terry Gilliam brought in Johnny Depp, Jude Law, and Colin Farrel to play the lead after Heath Ledger died (Still too painful. He ODs on prescription pills, and Paris Hilton still roams the earth? There is no justice.), I thought, "Well, that's going to be a bit weird, innit?" But after watching the trailer, I think it's going to fit into the storyline pretty well. And besides, since when have Terry Gilliam's films ever been normal?
While we have all been worrying about who was going to get to direct The Hobbit, Peter Jackson has made a quiet return behind the camera, and as a master of visuals, I don't think it's going to disappoint. Based on Alice Sebold's best-selling novel (that I never read, sorry), The Lovely Bones looks pretty amazing. Really, the only thing I can pick on based on the trailer is that I have a hard time believing that Rachel Weisz and Mark Wahlberg are old enough to have two teenage daughters. But, I am excited to see Susan Sarandon back on the silver screen. I can see this role having the same kind of depth and impact that Leslie Ann Warren had in Secretary, one of my favorite Warren performances since the eldest daughter in Faerie Tale Theater's "Seven Dancing Princesses".
Release date: December 11
Well, there ya go. It's my day off, and I've got a laundry list of things to do, topped off with Karaoke night, so shove off and I'll get back to ya when I'm done killing my liver.
